Are you insecure about something? Your body shape? Is your nose to big or your chin too long? Do you think you’re not as smart as all your friends? Do you doubt yourself? Do you criticise people when they succeed? Do you use foul language all the time? Are you materialistic? Well, you might be surprised by what these mean.
Everyone has insecurities and that includes your parents, other kids or adults around you, and yes, even famous people. Don’t think for a minute that it’s only you who feels this way.
There are lots of reasons why people can feel insecure. Sometimes these things are out of your control. They can be caused by difficult family situations, peer pressure, or a past failed attempt to do something. It can also be much more complicated than that. Insecurities can arise from violent or distressing situations. That’s why it’s important to realise and understand your own and other people’s insecurities.
A person who is secure in themselves has a solid understanding of who they are. They are not threatened by the brilliance of others because they appreciate their own self-worth. They believe in who they are and understand they deserve a place in the world. They also value other people and their opinions, beliefs and attitudes.
On the other hand if a person is quick to criticise you, is rude or unkind, it’s a very good indication that you may have just met an insecure person. Often this is a good way to recognise who feels good about themselves and who doesn’t. As human beings we are very good trying to hide things, but inevitably, our behaviour will always show something about who we really are.
Spotting other people’s insecurities is a good way to develop your own compassion and empathy towards others.
- Overly competitive. I’ve seen this many times. People in positions of power who don’t have the self-confidence, skills or knowledge to carry out the role they have been given. Often they will make others look bad to take the emphasis away from their inability to perform their tasks. This all comes down to their own insecurity.
- Those who curse or use foul language all the time. This is the tough exterior syndrome. Those who have a need to speak foul to hide a much deeper and perhaps more complex insecurity.
- Most people will know this one. Those who need “material things” to show that they have made it to the big time. Some of the wealthiest people I know don’t showcase their wealth. Most people wouldn’t know they are wealthy beyond your belief. If you care too much about what other people think of how much “stuff” you have in your life, unfortunately, I’m afraid this is your insecure perception of life and success.
In the next blog post I add a few more to this list.
Note: this awareness is not provided so people can belittle or take advantage of someone who may be insecure. It’s main purpose is so people can recognise their own insecurities and work towards managing them, and also, to build people’s compassion and empathy for others who are experiencing insecurities.
For now, I’ll leave you with a quote from Devon Aoki.
Everyone has their own insecurities, regardless of how you look or how people perceive you, but sometimes people give their insecurities too much power. Defining beauty is simply a matter of opinion. For me, real beauty has very little to do with the structure of someone’s face or body. ― Devon Aoki
Until next time, be brave and bold in your chosen field of creativity. And never be afraid to explore new techniques.